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7 behaviours to avoid when negotiating

Whether you are negotiating a salary with a new employee or with your boss, trying to make a change in work practices or trying to get the kids to do their homework, you are trying to influence the behaviour of other people. Many of us spend much of our working day negotiating, yet are often aware of just how much of our working life revolves around this most important skill.

You can become better at influencing if you recognise that other people's perspectives are rarely the same as yours. Increase the amount of listening you do, and, when you do present your ideas, tailor them to your listener's logic by using words and phrases that make it easier for them to accept what you are suggesting.

So the next time you are talking about a salary with someone, think hard about the following influence breakers, otherwise you may not get the result you want.

Influence breakers - 7 behaviours to avoid:

·      Talking more than listening. People would rather be listened to than talked at. We become defensive when someone is trying hard to influence us. Probe, listen and try hard to understand them. Eventually they will tell you what you need to say to influence them. 

·      Formal-speak. In ordinary conversations, people don't use terminology such as "in the fullness of time", "has not been forthcoming" and "it has been brought to my attention that". Ineffective influencers feel that such phrases boost their case. They don't use the terminology that you would employ in everyday conversations.

·      Parental language. Adults talking to children often use autocratic words such as "can't', "must", "should" and "ought". Delivered to an adult, these irritate and increase resistance.

·      Using "imitators". Phrases such as "with respect", "I hear what you say", "let's be realistic" and "I'm being perfectly reasonable" all convey the opposite message loud and clear to the other person. These terms are all influencing no-no’s.

·      Doing their thinking for them. “What you don't seem to realise is...", "what you clearly haven't taken account of is..." and similar phrases suggest that you are telepathically gifted. They sound insulting and have no persuasive potential. Most people react to them negatively.

·      Arguing. Disagreeing with someone produces a 60 per cent chance that they will disagree back. It's better to probe and understand their point of view.

·      Being dogmatic. The harder you push people, the harder they resist.

Listen to learn and use that learning to influence.

How not to make an IDIOT of yourself when applying for jobs online...


The advent of Job boards on-line and on-line application systems has facilitated the application process for candidates, making it relatively easy to apply for the many thousands of roles advertised everyday. However this facilitation has its downside, with many candidates making ill-advised applications as well as sloppy and careless applications.

Some of the most common mistakes that candidates make include:       

1)       Applying for positions for which they are not qualified. It is amazing the number of   candidates who apply for roles that they couldn’t possibly do either through lack of  sufficient experience, qualifications or both.

2)   Applying for positions that they are not really interested in. This is surprisingly common and you have to wonder what is going on in some people’s minds. Some of the responses we get from these people include: “I just thought I would throw my hat in the ring, to gauge the market, but I am not really looking”.

3)   Lack of professionalism when applying online. Just because it is easy to apply is no reason to lower professional standards. Check your spelling and grammar, use a cover letter, spend some time making sure that your cover letter and resume are appropriate to the role sought.

4)  Using embarrassing or inappropriate email addresses can easily put off prospective employers, for example lonliluver@email.com or purv57@easy.com.au, are very unlikely to gain you any brownie points, but a surprising number of candidates do use similarly gauche addresses.

5)   Make sure that if you use social media sites, that you don’t have tasteless postings or pictures on your site. 

6)   Poor spelling, grammar and typos. Don’t be surprised if your job application is rejected if you have typos and misspellings in your cover letter or resume. Most employers will forgive a typo or two, but if there are a number it will appear that you are just careless. Similarly with poor spelling, there is no real excuse as everyone can use a spellchecker. Poor spelling and typos just say that you don’t really care.

7)   No cover letter. There is only one thing worse than no cover letter and that is the type of cover letter that just says: “I would like to apply for job XYZ”. It is good to be concise, but too brief a cover letter (or no cover letter) says that you couldn’t be bothered. A cover letter is your chance to explain why you want the role and why you are suited to the role, so make good use of the opportunity.

Taking the time to make a thorough job application is time well spent. Unfortunately the ease of application can foster a slip-shod approach to applications which unfortunately lets many applicants down. The motto is: “Take your time, when you do it on-line”.